


Between Sheets and Sighs

by Demerite



Series: Trektober 2019 [19]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fade to Black, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-24 02:49:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21092153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demerite/pseuds/Demerite
Summary: The room is silent.A shuttle passes outside the window, lights flashing across the opposite wall.The air between them is charged, and not just from the storm outside.Jim can't stand it."I'm sorry." He says. Something, anything, to break this awful silence.





	Between Sheets and Sighs

**Author's Note:**

> Wildcard prompt for Day 20: First Kiss.

The away team stumbles out of the night and into what from the outside, could have been either a hotel, or someone's very large house. It turns out to be a hotel, and the reception staff are giving them some very judgemental looks as the four of them stand there, totally drenched, dripping onto the plush carpet. Jim already doesn't like them. Next to him, Uhura looks put out as she attempts to remain diplomatic while speaking to the host, a small man of the native species, who is speaking very rapidly, waving his hands about in what Jim reads as distress. 

Oh Uhura's other side, Spock looks like a wet cat, and about as pleased as one. Actually, when Jim looks to his other side to see Bones, he revises his assessment. Spock just looks a little annoyed. Bones, on the other hand, looks downright _pissed. _His dark hair is slicked down flat against his head, and like the rest of them, his uniform is soaked through, clinging to his skin. Even though the shirt, Jim can see the muscular lines of Bones' form, and it's enough to make Jim's mouth water and a hot spike of desire to shoot through him. Followed instantly by ice-cold shame, because Bones is his friend, and he needs to stop being creepy at thinking about him like that before he says or does something truly unfortunate. 

_"Captain." _Uhura says, in a tone that tells Jim she's already tried to get his attention once. 

"Yes, sorry, what is it Lieutenant?" Jim asks, hastily refocusing his attention from Bones, to the conversation in front of him. 

"They insist that they only have two single rooms to offer us, and that will not be enough space." Uhura says, in a tone that somehow manages to sound completely normal, as if she's reporting information to him on the Bridge, and completely done with the entire situation at the same time. "I assured him that this would be fine, but he's insisting on hearing it from you." 

Jim bites down on the urge to roll his eyes, but doesn't quite succeed in suppressing his _are you fucking kidding me _reaction in time, and she gives him a look of silent agreement. 

"It's not a problem." Jim addresses the host, and Uhura translates simultaneously, "We're glad of anything you can offer us." 

That seems to smooth things over, and they're escorted out of the lobby and down a corridor, up a flight of stairs, and to a landing. There are two doors off it, and the host explains to Uhura that these are their rooms, before bowing and heading away down the corridor again. 

"Captain." Spock begins, the first thing he's said since they stepped out of the storm, "As you know, Lieutenant Uhura and I are engaged in a romantic relationship." 

"I am aware of that, Spock, yes." Jim says, this time not bothering to suppress the eye-roll. 

"As we do not currently cohabitate on the _Enterprise, _standard procedure states that we must receive your permission before sharing quarters as we are still engaged in Starfleet Business, and-" 

"It's fine, Spock." Jim cuts him off, because he's cold and wet and he wants to have a shower and pass out for the next eight - or at least six - hours. 

"Thank you, Captain." Spock nods, and Jim thinks that will be it, but Spock has turned his attention on Bones, who looks about two seconds away from hitting the Vulcan if he doesn't leave him alone. 

"Doctor, as you are no doubt aware, sexual relations between interspecies couples engaged in Starfleet business off-ship must be approved by the chief medical officer before-"

"Seriously?" Jim cuts off both Spock's explanation, and Bones' growled reply, "You're planning on getting it on _here_?" 

"I cannot rule out the possibility." Spock replies cooly. 

Uhura, standing next to him, looks like she's torn between hitting Spock and straight-up leaving the hotel. Outside, thunder rumbles ominously. 

"Spock, I will approve anything the both of you consent to, provided you _never _ask me about it again." Bones snarls, before turning on his heel and stalking into the other bedroom. 

~*~

It's hardly the first time they're shared a bed; three years at the Academy, curled up under the blankets together when sleeping alone was an overwhelming prospect; away missions, squashed two to a survival shelter to conserve warmth; nights where leaning against each other reminiscing faded to sleeping next to each other because neither of them wanted to leave, and neither would ever tell the other to. So this shouldn't be any different. 

But it is. Because it's been too long since they shared space like this, and suddenly it's all so different. Because Jim _feels. _Because he _wants. _

So Jim holds himself as still as he can in the darkness, fights the urge to reach out for Bones, to wrap himself around him, to hold on and never let go. 

He'll tell Bones, eventually. But not here. Not now. Not when they're so close to each other, and there's nowhere else to go until morning. 

Jim knows that's all excuses. He just doesn't want to face the inevitable rejection. Not yet. 

But Bones, incredible, sensitive, genius of a man that he is, so adept at reading Jim from all the years they've known each other, can clearly tell something is up, has probably known since the moment Jim crawled under the blankets with him - both of them stripped down to their underwear, their uniforms laid out to dry - and didn't reach for him like he usually did. 

"Jim." Bones says firmly, and Jim starts; flinches like the simple use of his name is a rebuke. 

"Yeah?" He asks, trying to keep his voice from shaking. 

"You alright?" 

For a moment, Jim doesn't know how he wants to answer that. He knows he isn't alright; he's half-insane pining over the best and most loyal friend he's ever had, but he doesn't know what to say, or how to say it, or what to ask for, or even if he _can _ask. 

"No." He eventually settles on, in a much quieter and shakier voice than he'd intended. 

He hears Bones draw in a slow breath, "You wanna talk about it?" He asks, his voice gentle, worried, because Jim doesn't usually admit when he's having a problem, he just falls back into his old self-destructive habits and waits for someone to notice his silent calls for help. 

That simple question nearly proves Jim's undoing, because Bones has _always _been there, has always had his back, has always cared in a way that no-one still alive today ever has, like no-one else has ever been willing to. If he fucks this up, he'll lose Bones. 

Jim stops for a moment, because that's the single most terrifying prospect he's faced all day - never mind that they were being shot at like six hours ago. But this could be his chance. 

The worst Bones can do is...reject him, want nothing to do with him, ask for a transfer to another ship...the scenarios flash through Jim's mind in rapid, terrible succession, but there's something else, some strange bravery, a wild and dangerous thing bubbling up inside of him, pushing him to risk it all, to take the leap. Jim takes a slow, deep breath, and it doesn't go away, so maybe this is really happening. 

"So uh, you know I'm not just into girls, right?" He stars, because that's necessary information, and he needs to start somewhere, and if he overthinks much more he's not going to be able to get the words out. 

"I shared a dorm with you for three years, I am aware of that, yes." Bones says, and there's that rueful little laugh on the end of it, so easy and familiar that Jim feels a few of his nerves burn off. There's a shifting of blankets and mattress as Bones sits up, and Jim can see him in silhouette, body angled towards him as he listens. 

Then Bones continues, "Wait, you've met a guy?" 

"No." Jim cuts him off before Bones can get carried away with the idea, and then realises how harsh he sounded, "Well, I haven't 'met' anyone, I've known him for ages now, like, a couple of years, but I'm not gonna tell him and ruin the friendship, you know?" He trails off a little lamely, because Bones is giving him a considering look, and Jim abruptly feels that if he keeps talking, anything else he says will only further damn both himself, and his cause. Also, Bones looks like he wants to say something. 

"I think," Bones says, drawing out the words a little, "That you can _never _tell Spock about this. He's a good officer Jim, but he and Uhura only just sorted things out again, and-"

Jim's snort of laughter, loud and sudden and uncontrolled, cuts him off. Does Bones really think Jim has feelings for _Spock _of all people? Jim tries to control his laughter, but it's perhaps a slightly hysterical reaction, because Bones is giving him the look that is usually a precursor to Jim being dragged to sickbay and thoroughly scanned because Bones is concerned for his mental state. 

"Wait, you think...Spock?" Jim composes himself. It takes less effort than it usually would. Normally, Bones suggesting something as ridiculous as Jim having a thing for Spock of all people would be something Jim could laugh about for weeks, if not longer, but right now the situation is still so loaded, and Bones is so close, and Jim is so near to admitting the secret he's been holding onto for far too long, and it just doesn't seem as funny. If nothing else, at least when Bones rejects him, he'll have something to laugh about. One day. 

"It's not Spock." Jim finally says. 

"Well, who then?" There's a little rumble of irritation in Bones' voice, and Jim really shouldn't find it as sexy as he does, "Don't tell me it's Chekov, come on Jim, he's basically a kid!" 

"Okay, he's twenty-two, and also he's seeing Scotty, but you didn't hear it from me." Jim shoots back, because he'd caught the two of them in engineering late one night when they'd thought they were being sneaky. Jim had been coming down to talk to Scotty about one of his ongoing projects that Jim's been helping a little with, and he'd seen them, Scotty seated on the top of a workbench, Pavel standing comfortably between his legs, up on tiptoes, kissing each other long and slow and Jim had abruptly felt an overwhelming surge of melancholy and wistfulness because yes, that was what he wanted too, and he was never going to get it, because he was never going to be able to tell Bones how he felt, so he'd slipped out of engineering and gone to have a drink in his quarters, on his own. 

"Who then, Jim?" Bones asks, and Jim wants to _scream, _because how could Bones not know at this point?! 

It's the frustration that finally tips Jim over that final edge. 

"You." He says, quietly enough that Bones can pretend not to hear it if he wants to, to give him a chance to bail out of the entire conversation if he wants. 

The room is silent. 

A shuttle passes outside the window, lights flashing across the opposite wall. 

The air between them is charged, and not just from the storm outside. 

Jim can't stand it. 

"I'm sorry." He says. Something, anything, to break this awful silence. 

Bones stirs from where he's been all but frozen in place, only the rise and fall of his chest showing Jim he's still alive, "Why?" He asks, and for a moment the confusion and hurt in his voice has Jim blindsided. 

Jim makes a helpless, frustrated gesture that encompasses the space between them, hand moving quick and sharp. "This." He says, miserably, "Telling you. What I feel. What I _want. _It's not fair on you. I shouldn't have put this on you. It's not fair." 

"Don't be." Bones' voice is steadier than Jim has been, or felt, all night, which isn't saying much, because it's still a little breathless, and full of emotions Jim doesn't' want to attempt to name. "Don't apologise, please. Just don't." 

"Okay..." Jim replies, doubtful. 

What is Bones saying? Why won't he just put Jim out of his misery, tell him he's not interested and to move on? He's abruptly angry, wants to ask Bones why he's dragging this out, when he has to know that his answer is going to hurt Jim more than anything ever has. 

"Why?" He finally manages, and even speaking hurts. 

When Bones answers, the calm of earlier is gone from his voice, the confidence he's been displaying up until this point is all bluster, Jim realises; wonders how he didn't see it before, because this _always _comes up when _feelings _are involved. It's the same tone Bones takes when he tells Jim to stop risking his life because he needs someone to bother him in sickbay once in a while. 

"Because you're not the only one who feels that way." 

"What?" Jim tries not to let it, but hope springs up, bright and dangerous in his chest. His stomach feels like it's doing some _very _energetic gymnastics. He's abruptly dizzy. 

Bones takes a deep breath, the sound seems to fill Jim's whole being in the quiet of the room, "Jim, I'm trying to tell you that I like you too." He says. 

Stunned silence. 

"Oh _thank fuck." _Is all that Jim can manage at first, and Bones makes a small, confused sound, and Jim doesn't stop to see if he's also making a confused face - although that would be adorable - because he's seen his chance, and he doesn't what he always does when he sees a chance; he grabs it with everything he's got. 

Jim surges across the space between them, catches Bones' face in his hands and presses their lips together in a messy, uncoordinated, perfect kiss. 

Bones makes a started noise, but then his arms are around Jim, warm and strong, holding him tight, and when he kisses back, Jim stops being able to think clearly for a moment, because despite the untidiness of the kiss, and how Jim is tangled in the sheets, barely keeping his balance on his knees, Bones' mouth is hot against his and Jim feels like he's flying, or falling, and this _has _to be a dream, and he's about to wake up on the opposite side of a hotel bed with Bones sleeping next to him and an unfortunate erection. 

"Wait." Bones pulls back from him, and Jim tries to follow, to chase his mouth, but he's too tangled in the sheets, and he overbalances, landing face-first in Bones' lap. 

He rights himself, blushing furiously at something that would usually be a prime opportunity for some quality innuendo, but he's too nervous right now. "What's wrong?" He asks, and the fear is back, creeping in at the edges and making it hard to breathe deeply, because maybe Bones isn't interested in him physically, doesn't want that from him, and Jim hadn't even _asked _before he practically threw himself on him and he might have doomed this whole thing because it ever had a real chance to start because he didn't know how to be patient for just a little bit longer. 

Bones sighs, and runs a hand over his face. "Are you serious about this, Jim?" He asks, "Because I am, and if you're not, if this is something you're gonna want to forget about in the morning...I can't deal with that." 

Jim lets out his own sigh, his of soul-deep relief. Bones is still interested. He just wants to make sure they're on the same page. "I'm serious." He promises, "Bones I am so serious, you have no idea." 

"Oh, I think I have some idea." Bones replies, and leans back in to kiss Jim again, this time slower, longer, with heat flowing just beneath the surface. 

It's the sort of kiss, Jimm thinks, that people go on about in low-quality romance generally bought at shuttle station and spaceports - not that he has prior knowledge, of course. 

Whatever sort of kiss it is, it leaves him breathless and wanting more. 

Bones isn't much better of, equally out of breath and dishevelled, eyes wide and dark. 

Jim reaches for him, tries to get them closer to each other, but his legs are still tangled in the blankets. Jim curses the thick fabric, laughter bubbling up through the words, and he kicks the sheets away, down the end of the mattress, not caring where they land, because he has more important things to think about right now. Things like Bones, flushed and delightful in front of him, eyes bright in the darkness and all Jim has ever really wanted. 

Jim closes the space between them, all but launching himself into Bones' lap, now that he's allowed to touch, allowed to taste. Bones kisses him deeply, like he's trying to claim Jim with just his mouth, and Jim's fingers dig into Bones' shoulders, clinging to him with all of his strength. He never wants to let go again, the contact sending excitement fizzing through every nerve in his body. 

He still wants more, and Bones gives it to him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Want to know more about Trektober? Click [HERE](https://aishahiwatari.tumblr.com/post/188059640163/trektober) for the info post on Aisha's tumblr, or [HERE](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Trektober2019) for the AO3 collection to read our fic. 
> 
> Come yell at me on [Tumblr](https://demerite.tumblr.com/)!


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